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<\/div>\nSo, I was taken to the local doctor for stitches. He pulled down my little trousers, and I wasn\u2019t wearing any underwear. Twenty years later, I still have the scar on my leg. And my lack of underwear is still a regular family anecdote.<\/p>\n
A few years back, I ended up getting the flu. My wife took me to a 24-hour emergency clinic near our house. The doctor on duty was in her mid-30s and kind of cute.<\/p>\n
My wife was in the waiting room, and I was with the doctor in a patient room when the doctor turned to me and said, \u201cYou look just like John Cusack\u201d (which I do).<\/p>\n
I told her I get that all the time, but she kept repeating it, and she began sounding creepy. So I\u2019m lying on the bed, trying my hardest not to pass out, and the doctor begins playing with my hair, talking about John Cusack before my wife walks in.When I was newly pregnant with my daughter, I was at my OB\u2019s office for a pelvic exam. After I stirrup up, my doctor checks my vagina and says, \u201cOh, you\u2019ll be fine if you have a big baby; there\u2019s PLENTY of room in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure she meant that I have a wide pelvic arch and would have no trouble with a vaginal delivery, but what I heard was something entirely different.
\nI was ten when I was taken to the emergency room with a ruptured appendix. They had trouble diagnosing my problem and sent me in for an enema. The doctor was doing his thing. So I said, \u201cYou must be the least popular doctor in the hospital.\u201d He responded,\u201d I don\u2019t get many thank-you cards.\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, it\u2019s not that awkward, but it was April Fool\u2019s Day, and right before I went to class, I decided to go dominate the toilet. To my surprise, the toilet paper was all red.<\/p>\n
By this time, I\u2019m freaking out going to the doctor, thinking I bled out of my butt. I go to an urgent care and pay my $100 fee. A very attractive doctor has me bend over to look at my buttocks. That was the awkward part for me.<\/p>\n
She says I\u2019m probably okay if I didn\u2019t feel any pain. An hour later, I\u2019m sitting at home wondering if I\u2019m going to die. I realized the night before I got very drunk, smoked, and ate a whole bag of flaming hot Cheetos to myself. Turns out that eating a bunch of those turns your poop red.<\/p>\n
I had a sore throat, and when I tried to get a good look at it in the mirror, I noticed these large, pink spots all over the very back of my tongue.<\/p>\n
I spent a week fretting over it, wondering what they were and why they weren\u2019t going away until my mom worried enough that she went with me to my doctor.<\/p>\n
Upon examining my throat and tongue, he pronounced what I saw were my taste buds. I have never seen my doctor, an incredibly stoic man, smile so wide. My family is never going to let me live it down.<\/p>\n
I went to the doctor when I was about eight months pregnant. At that point in my pregnancy, I was VERY gassy, and if I tried to hold it in, it would get painful after a while.<\/p>\n
While I was sitting in the doctor\u2019s office, I felt like I had to fart. I held it in for a while, thinking that if I did fart, the doctor would be in at any moment. Fifteen minutes passed, and nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Many people don\u2019t like visiting the hospital, but sometimes, circumstances require us to. However, those doctor appointments sometimes don\u2019t turn out as expected, and patients end up… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":false,"total_views":0,"today_views":0},"yoast_head":"\n