{"id":4044,"date":"2024-10-15T00:15:37","date_gmt":"2024-10-15T00:15:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xstorynews.com\/?p=4044"},"modified":"2024-12-18T05:15:44","modified_gmt":"2024-12-18T05:15:44","slug":"top-joke-of-today-after-i-retired-my-wife-insisted-that-i-accompany-her-on-her-trips-to-walmart-unfortunately","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xstorynews.com\/?p=4044","title":{"rendered":"Top Joke of Today: After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately"},"content":{"rendered":"

Top Joke of Today: After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. UnfortunatelySEVEN ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS THAT SHOCKED THESE PEOPLE MORE THAN\u2026…..Continue Reading Below first comment \"\ud83d\udc47\"<\/span>\"\ud83d\udc47\"<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women \u2013 she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:<\/div>\n
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Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
\nWe cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.<\/p>\n

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:<\/p>\n

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people\u2019s carts when they weren\u2019t looking.<\/p>\n

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.<\/p>\n

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women\u2019s restroom.<\/p>\n

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, \u2018Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away\u2019. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don\u2019t have a Code 3.<\/p>\n

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.<\/p>\n

6. August 14: Moved a, \u2018CAUTION \u2013 WET FLOOR\u2019 sign to a carpeted area.<\/p>\n

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he\u2019d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.<\/p>\n

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, \u2018Why can\u2019t you people just leave me alone?\u2019 EMTs were called.<\/p>\n

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.<\/p>\n

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.<\/p>\n

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, \u2018Mission Impossible\u2019 theme.<\/p>\n

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, \u2018Madonna Look\u2019 using different sizes of funnels.<\/p>\n

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled \u2018PICK ME! PICK ME!\u2019<\/p>\n

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
\n\u2018OH NO! IT\u2019S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!\u2019<\/p>\n

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?<\/p>\n

And last, but not least:<\/p>\n

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, \u2018Hey! There\u2019s no toilet paper in here.\u2019 One of the clerks passed out.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t send this to your dearest friends; You will be depriving them of some good humor.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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