JOKE OF THE DAY: An old man calls his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son shouts.
“We can’t stand each other anymore,” the old man replies. “I’m tired of seeing her face, and I’m done talking about this. Call your sister and let her know,” and he hangs up.
The son, now worried, calls his sister. “What? They’re getting divorced?!” she exclaims. She immediately calls their father. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I are flying home tomorrow to talk this through. Until then, don’t call a lawyer or sign anything. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up.
The old man turns to his wife and says…
An elderly couple had just crawled into bed when the old man let out a loud fart and proudly declared,“Seven points! ”His wife, puzzled, rolled over and asked, “What are you talking about? ”
Not one to be left out of the fun, his wife waited a few minutes,
then let out her own impressive fart and confidently announced, “Touchdown! Tie game!
” After a brief pause, the old man fired off another one and boasted,
“Aha, 14 to 7!I’m back in the lead! ”
Determined to stay in the game, the wife followed up with another loud one and grinned,“Touchdown, tie game again! ” Then, with a small squeaker, she added, “Field goal!
