Jim calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I will not come to work today, I’m really sick” … Brilliant continuation in the first comment 
Jim calls in to work and says,
“Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work.”
The boss says, “You know Jim, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try.”
Two hours later Jim calls again: “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.”
